It's so interesting all the emotions that go along with not wanting a baby (right now) to I NEED A BABY. A couple years ago, I was perfectly fine with where we were at in our life. Now, it completely feels like something is missing. Not all days but more days than not. My husband feels it too. Maybe not as strongly nor on a daily basis but still something he thinks about. Unfortunately, I just don't get knocked up easily. But we'll save that story for another day.
For 99% of the time thus far I have been completely focused on all the amazing wonderful things that come with a baby i.e. who will they look like, the baby smell, the cuddles and love, all the firsts, decorating a nursery. Don't get me wrong, none of these things are negated in my mind but since we've had more time than planned in the "trying phase," I feel like I've actually gained a better realization of how life will change. And it has actually helped me be more patient with this process.
I think of how if we have twins, it's entirely possible we will need 4 car seats because we'll probably split pick-up/drop-up. FOUR! Crazy! I know, very specific but it was the last thing I realized. Day care costs....enough said. Our mid-week wine nights with neighbors.....probably not happening too often. And most importantly, continuing to make time for your marriage and keep making sex tapes. Bahahahaha.
So this year has been all about doing all the things you can't do with a baby. Okay, well not that you can't but they would be A LOT harder. Pretty much we're boozing it up all weekend and taking adult friendly trips. We're making the best of it ;)
But....today is not one of those days that I'm excited to be where we are at. I want to hold my adorabley cute, blonde hair, baby smelling, mini-me. I'll shake it. I'll probably hear a song that makes me dance and I'll start thinking about our girl trip to Vegas. But for the moment, that longing and desire to be a mommy is on my mind.
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